Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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