You really coming over, don't trick.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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