I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
