Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize