I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize