i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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