wrigley field is MILF paradise
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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