Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
