Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I am one with the molecules
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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