He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
And then my night got REAL pukey
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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