Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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