I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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