so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
