Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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