Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize