I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
