to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
