There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
