Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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