i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Randomize
