Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I AM VODKA MAN
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
