So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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