When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
