My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize
