I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
