Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
