fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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