we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
