I want to have your abortion
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
