I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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