cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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