I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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