I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
