i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
i came on her dog
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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