ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
