Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
