remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
