we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
