Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
