i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
