i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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