Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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