She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
