I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
