It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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