i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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