HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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