glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
