Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize