I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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