i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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