i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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