I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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