You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
