Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
