the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
this is an emotional support booty call
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
