Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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