it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
