Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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