hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
