I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Less talking, more tequila
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize
