i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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