i jhust puked up my retainher.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
