Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
