dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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