PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
